Millicent Meets Smith’s Candidates (Part 2)

I have added a new chapter  – Millicent Meets Smith’s Candidates (part 2) This is the second part of the of long chapter. This one has quite a bit of action in it. There are two fights and one chase. And there is more from Charles.  I received some excellent advice from a supportive reader to use the active voice. I have long had a problem with this (see last sentence for proof). I am now screening and editing chapters for tighter language, at least between dialogs. The dialogs will probably remain passive. I have memories of reading Thomas Hardy in high school and he was hardly Earnest Hemmingway or Ayn Rand in his sentence structure. So the upper crust voice will be vague and indirect in speaking but my descriptions of their actions will be more direct.

The next entry you’ll see will be from Jason and it will include a bit of action and a love interest. I will admit I have no idea what to do with that. I am currently working on the second of several chapters from the point of view of John Smith. My niece offered the sound advice of making my villain complex. I am not quite sure how to approach that as yet so I am getting stuff on paper and will work for a villain as conflicted as Millicent is turning out to be.


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